20 *obvious* signs he’s not into you

Often times these signs leave us questioning his intentions, or more importantly his feelings. And many times these signs go ignored, leaving us entirely blindsided by heartache. Then how do you know if he’s not into you? The signs will be *obvious*.

Instead of trusting your gut instincts, you may wrongfully give him the benefit of the doubt or justify his actions. There are the right times for exceptions, but not when it compromises or belittles your worth.

At the bottom of this post you can download a FREE diagram that will help you in determining whether he is worth the fuss and if he is truly interested (based on your gut intuition).

By overlooking these signs you are only feeding your need for Love out of loneliness, which isn’t a healthy approach to any relationship. It’s time to stop ignoring these blatant signs, know that he is just not interested and frankly doesn’t even deserve you.

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20 *obvious* signs he’s not into you

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You make the calls/initiate the plans (more than half the time)

He’s unsure/wishy-washy about his feelings for you (and may even tell you that)

He won’t sleep with you (unless he tells you he’s remaining celibate – otherwise, you might be considered “just a friend”)

He tries way too hard too soon to sleep with you (that’s likely his only motive)

He disrespects you

He poses too many blatant red flags early on (Learn more about these red flags – these are different than signs of disinterest)

He disappears from the radar (and frequently)

He has excuses (for everything)

[Related Read: Why online dating is so difficult (when it shouldn’t be)]

He is always late (He should make the effort not to be)

He doesn’t “notice” or “greet” your presence (Meaning, he doesn’t make eye contact with you, or say “Hello” upon greeting)

It’s always just his place, or your place (Early on, it ultimately should be “no one’s” place until a relationship is established)

The “gentlemen attributes” (or chivalry) halts after the first or first few dates

He breaks plans (last minute, unannounced)

He tries to make plans with you (last minute, unannounced)

He can’t talk about how he feels for you, or refuses to

He hasn’t called/texted you (nobody should abide by the 3-day-rule, anyhow)

He calls/texts, or responds to your call/texts only when it’s convenient for him (or not in a very timely manner; IE: past bedtime)

He didn’t call/text you when he said he would

[Related Read: The Secrets To Keeping Him Interested (& It Starts With You!)]

Late night wake up calls/texts wanting to see you (ladies, this will always, always, always be a booty-call)

He brings up or trash talks an EX (This is more a red flag than it is disinterest)

He compares you to an EX (Sorry, ladies, a man who actually wants to keep you won’t do this – period)

Attempts to sleep with you on Date #1 (with or without advances from you – yup, his sexual interest in you means nothing)

Easily picks a fight with you

Plays the tit-for-tat game (The, “Well you did this, so I get to do that,” game)

Is easily offended by your opinions (or simply won’t agree to disagree)

He simply doesn’t value your opinions at all

Has no respect for your morals values (abstinence, achievements, goals, religion, etc.)

Doesn’t open doors for you (this is subjective to your personal expectations, his overall values growing up, and general level of respect in women), or general manners only apply to himself

He answers/uses his phone frequently during a date (If it’s an emergency, there is voicemail/text/email for a reason)

Only talks about himself (redirects the conversation to be about him)

Can’t carry on the conversation, or reciprocate (subjective to “introverted personalities”, but someone interested will make the effort in asking questions and actually being interested in what you have to say)

Is overly boastful (about own looks, money, achievements, etc.)

Says anything along the lines of being a “womanizer” (he’s implying that you are dispensable and replaceable)

Doesn’t initiate or make time to see you (crazy schedule or not)

Beats around the bush of meeting your parents, or you meeting his (after mutual discussion, or a respectable time frame of dating)

Doesn’t make an effort to get to know and engage in your likes/interests/hobbies

[Related Read: Signs you may be “too clingy” (Even when you think you’re not)]

He has an eye for other women when he’s with you (he’s always on the “lookout” for better opportunities)

It’s always his “boys” before you (this “attitude” and mindset should have ended if he’s truly looking for a relationship)

He refuses to label you as his girlfriend/exclusively dating (to me not defining the relationship is avoidant behavior and fear of commitment)

He doesn’t ever include you in group settings (outings with friends/family)

He’s very secret about his life when he’s not with you (a man who is interested wants to keep you up-to-date on his life – with or without you – not to go out of his way to hide important details)

Walks ahead or behind you – not next to you (this is a dominance/pride issue)

He’s open about sleeping with other women, and his previous sex life (without your consent of discussion)

He refuses to abandon his EX(s) (sees an Ex(s) off and on between you)

He willingly stays in contact with his EX(s) (baby-mama, or “friends” post relationship – an EX, with previous emotional and physical activity is someone who needs to EXIT their life)

He abuses the idea of “going dutch” on dates (too much, and he’s taking advantage)

He is always reluctant for paying for a date (let’s the check sit, and sit, and sit)

Asks if you can pay for the date (no matter the situation, this is a no-no)

Says he’s getting divorced, but it has yet to happen (ladies, unless he’s officially divorced – you won’t ever be his “urge” in getting to that point)

When you want him to commit, he says “it’s complicated” (he either likes you, or he doesn’t; to him there are other meanings – read more on what it means when he says it’s complicated)

6 months to a year of “taking things slow”, or of “it’s complicated” means he doesn’t want the commitment (end of story)

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Bottom line of any dating experience or relationship: A guy will make time for you (to keep you), go out of his way to show you his devotion and respect, and openly let you in on his life and feelings for you if he is truly interested.

A guy who is truly interested will never give you any reason to doubt his intentions.