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Article written by Sylvia Smith

It’s never fun to deal with anxiety, especially when you’re starting a new relationship. Your heart wants to focus on the great person you’ve invited into your life, but the rest of your body is a wreck of nerves.

It’s normal to feel at least a little anxious about a new relationship. You want to get along, impress your partner, and make your new union a success. But, when the stress and anxiety that comes from being with someone new gets out of control it can cause relationship issues early on and marriage communication problems down the line.

Don’t let anxiety ruin a good thing in your life. Here are 6 tips for dealing with stress and anxiety brought on by relationship uncertainty. 

Uncertainty In New Relationships

[+ tips to managing relationship anxiety]

Possible Reasons for New Relationship Anxiety

In order to prevent anxiety from causing relationship issues or marital conflict, you need to understand why you’ve been worked into a panic about your partner.

Fear of Commitment

Just because you like someone and want to be with them doesn’t mean you aren’t a commitment-phobe. Having a phobia of commitment often leads to anxiety-like symptoms, such as panic attacks.

Romantic Unfamiliarity

If you are a naturally anxious person, you may simply be nervous about the uncertainty of your relationship’s future because you haven’t been in a relationship for some time. Having a sense of ‘unfamiliarity’ in your own life can cause stress and anxiety to build.

Fear of Rejection

One study researching the effects of rejection on the brain found that social pain and physical pain overlap in during the computational process in the brain. This means that the brain interprets a breakup or other form of social pain the same way it might experience physical pain.

Sexual Insecurity

It may be that your relationship issues are stemming from the prospect of your sex life. Perhaps you had a bad experience in the past, are not comfortable with your sexual skills or knowledge.

Tips on managing relationship anxiety, and marital conflict

Accept and Understand Your Feelings

Before beating yourself up for your anxiety or desperately seeking out counseling, understand that what you are feeling is normal, especially if you suffer from other areas of social anxiety. There is nothing odd or out of the ordinary about someone feeling uneasy about a new relationship.

Communicate openly

If you can’t communicate in your relationship, you may as well end things now. Communication is essential for a healthy partnership. Talk about your day, your goals and dreams, your feelings, and specifically: your relationship anxiety.

If you have chronic anxiety, don’t be afraid to tell your partner what your triggers are and gently ask them to be patient and reassure you when you are feeling stressed.

You should make it a practice to be open and honest with your partner and to communicate regularly. Not only will this help you to strengthen your bond and get to know one another better, it will also help prevent marriage communication problems and other relationship issues going forward, since you’ll already know how to speak to one another and resolve your issues.

Don’t Compare

One reason you may be feeling anxious about your new relationship is because you’re comparing yourself to your spouse’s ex. Maybe your goals, appearance, or beliefs are vastly different from their last partner and you worry that you won’t be as compatible or as sexually exciting.

The tip? Don’t compare. It is a pointless and torturous self-inflicted mind-game. Remind yourself that your partner’s past relationships ended for a reason. They are with you because they enjoy your company and care for you.

Just like you shouldn’t compare yourself to your partner’s ex, you shouldn’t compare your new spouse to yours, either.

If you had a positive experience in your last relationship, you may want to duplicate the personality traits or behaviors of your last partner into your new relationship. This can be dangerous and may lead to jealousy and other relationship issues.

Don’t wish for your partner to be something they’re not. Instead, appreciate them for who they are and let the past stay in the past.

Take Care of Yourself

Experiencing stress or concerns about the future of your relationship is no excuse to stop taking care of yourself. Be sure you are eating and getting enough water every day and you’re sleeping at least 7-8 hours every night. Exercise and treat yourself right. It’s important for both your physical and mental health.

Laugh Together

Is laughter really the best medicine? Studies say that yes, there are genuine therapeutic benefits of laughter in both mental health and physical health.

One study found that participants who laughed every day reported lower risk of heart disease than those who did not laugh every day. Laughter therapy may also be helpful for those suffering from depression, since laughter alters dopamine and serotonin, making you feel happier.

Couples will benefit from laughing together regularly. Laughter reduces stress and strengthens the bond between you and your new spouse.

You can ensure laughter is a regular part of your relationship by going to comedy clubs together, watching cute or funny videos online, or finding a partner who can really give you a case of the giggles.

Be Mindful

Part of overcoming anxiety is learning to accept your current situation. Understand that you cannot change the future or how your relationship will turn out.

Keep your mind in the present and focus on the present instead of worrying about how your relationship might turn out. This will help you live in the moment, enjoy your time with your spouse, and push negative thoughts out.

If you do not deal with your stress, it may spill over and cause relationship issues or marital conflict in the future. Remember to communicate openly with your partner, don’t compare your relationship to others, and work on becoming vulnerable with your partner. If you do these things you’ll be on your way to a calmer, more satisfying relationship.

Author Bio

Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages. Follow them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.