Marriage is a constant building of a foundation between two people, and it never ends. It may seem at times only one person is working on that foundation more than the other. And that can happen as life brings on it’s struggles, as long as it’s not permanent.
A marriage isn’t only broken by money, infidelity and mistrust, where I think most might assume. A failing marriage may come down to the simplest daily actions between one another. These actions could just be going unnoticed.
If I’ve learned anything in my short time being married, some of the advice is almost too easy it sounds absurd. I even giggled from stupidity as I heard them. And you might, too. You may have even heard them many times before but never put them to good thought.
But, we’re two human beings with feelings that need and want to be treated like beings. Here are 12 old wisdoms on marriage that are making a comeback as some of the most simple, yet crucial, advice couples should commit to.
The Most Uplifting Marriage Advice
1. Never both be angry at the same time
This is never a good ending for either spouse, whether you’re angry at each other or about completely different situations. It can create distance between one another, and shows lack of support within each other.
2. Never talk down at one another, whether alone or in company
You will never find a solution to your marital issues by spilling them to family and friends. You should also never say anything related to your marital issues or negative things about your spouse in front of family or friends. Only you and your spouse should discuss those issues, and talk through them together.
3. Never speak loudly to one another, unless the house is on fire
Raising a tone in voice can escalate unnecessary conflict. Whether you are trying to talk over your spouse, or speaking out of anger. The best way to handle that situation is to listen first, think about what you want to say in a calm manner, and say what is on your mind while looking into the eyes of your partner.
The only time it is ever acceptable to raise your voice at one another is during a life threatening situation.
5. Let self denial be the daily aim and practice of each
When you think of others first, as for your spouse, you are creating a deeper trust and bond. Self reassurance is always a difficult part of a relationship to go without, but when you give it more than thinking about getting it, you’ll gain happiness within yourself.
6. Never taunt with a past mistake
Let the past be the past. If you have forgiven and moved on – let that be that. Using the past against your spouse during a conflict will only prolong the negative tension within the relationship, and can alter trust.
7. Neglect the whole world, rather than one another
Put one another first, and never jeopardize that. Whether it be money or temptation. Never neglect your marriage for other matters.
8. Never part for the day without loving words to remember
Whether it be ‘I Love You’, or blowing a kiss. When you part ways for the day, or to sleep, the last words or thing you will relate to your emotions for your spouse will come from your last interaction. And you should always want to make it a positive emotion. And more than likely, you will be on each other’s mind significantly more.
9. Never make a mean remark at the expense of each other
Do not hit below the belt in order to win an argument or to make a point. Not only is it a sign of disrespect, but you are also demoralizing your marriage. By doing this, you are breaking down the one person you are supposed to constantly lift up.
10. Never meet without a loving welcome
Just as you should never part without a loving gesture or kind words, the same goes for greeting. Welcome one another with a kiss, a smile and a ‘Hello sweetheart, how was your day?’
11. Never let the sun go down upon any anger or grievance
Yes, that cliche saying ‘Don’t go to bed angry’. Now, whether that happens is sometimes unavoidable. But one another should strive each day to settle any differences, and conflicts between one another before laying down to sleep, and never start a new day angered at each other.
12. Never forget the happy hours of early love
Those sweet young moments when your love for each other began and blossomed. Those moments are why you could still be with and love that person today. Reflect on those moments together from time to time. As a couple, it’s important to never forget the good and stop focusing on the bad.