4 Real Reasons Why Your Hair Won’t Curl Or Straighten

Written by: | July 11, 2023

There’s only one reason why hair can be the ultimate struggle – we want what we don’t have! It’s not that we can’t have it, we just dread the endless time of trial and error, money, effort, and patience that goes along with it. And in the end, it may never look how we envisioned. You likely experience the never-ending battle of why your hair won’t curl or straighten.

Women with curly hair spend boo-koo bucks on Keratin treatments to get immaculate straight hair, and those with straight hair get perms, or something else of the sort nowadays. Either way, we likely fry the sh*t out of our hair to achieve a desired look.

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The hair follicle is a muscle, and the hair itself – I am convinced – is able to be “trained”. I can easily train my part to either side or down the middle, whenever I feel like it- this just takes some time.

So with that, I am also convinced it is possible to train the hair to curl or straighten, depending on your hair’s natural state. It’s not permanent, by any means, and definitely won’t be perfect. It’s short-lived #hairgoals until you wash it out again. But there are several real reasons why you may be struggling to even hold a curl, or keep your hair straight.

4 REAL Reasons Why Your Hair Won't Hold a Curl or Stay Sleek Straight | The correct methods and products to use for your hair type | #hairhacks theMRSingLink

4 real reasons why your hair won’t curl or straighten

You believe too much in the “genetic myth”

GUESS WHAT? Naturally kinky, curly-haired girls can go sleek “straight”, and this applies to the vice versa!

It might not be entirely perfect, but you know what? They can sure as hell fake it straight! They just know that their hair requires a level of patience and a difference in tactic to make that happen. Like myself, I have crazy, kinky curly, frizzy, now fully-grown-out gray (yes, I’m 32, and I LOVE IT) hair in its natural state. But seriously, you’d never really know it if you saw my hair straightened, or barrel-curled with waves from my 2-inch curling iron. 

It took me YEARS to:

A. Figure out how to keep it straight (without fail of the inevitable Florida fate of 90-100% humidity year round),

B. Tame the frizz, or keep it from going flat, losing its shape, or *poof*.

C. Give it body and shine that won’t end with needing a washout 8 hours later from oil build-up (because of, alas, most curly-haired-girls world problems), and

D. Realize the vital life-line and importance of pre scalp cleansing, holding hair spray and dry shampoo.

Training, ladies, training! It’s simple – when I want my hair straight, I can’t think and do like someone with curly hair. Yet, it is true, after nearly 15 years…I am able to simply wash[cleanse], add in ONE single smoothing product on damp hair, blow it dry (in less than 20 minutes), give it a quick straighten with my flat iron…and viola – straight hair for up to 4-5 days. No hair spray and minimal dry shampoo other than the last day or two.

Over the years, I was able to train and trick my hair (slowly and steadily over time) into being able to go from kinky curly to smooth straight. And, no, I didn’t lose my natural curl pattern – I didn’t neglect my hair’s natural state. I use several different products for my natural hair AND to straighten my hair, and they’re products I generally rotate…because…

If you didn’t know, your hair CAN become accustomed to using the same product over time (something I learned from working at a hair salon years ago), so I switch up what I use pretty regularly! This can get annoying as hell, but once you find 2-3 products that work, stick with them and then rotate every few months.

Yes, genetics affect our ability to get those pristine, soft, straight strands or full, thick, shiny locks we all dream of. When I say I can get my hair to be straight – it only takes a really humid day, a few drops of rain or sweat to transform my hair back into a pumpkin – I mean into curls. My fake straight hair is also not super thick-looking – I have naturally pretty fine hair, so when it’s curly it looks like I have a ton of hair, but when it’s straight it looks like I have nothing. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a slight variation of it.

So understand this: the way that you prep, treat, and handle your hair (in its natural state) isn’t going to be how you go about getting the opposite style you desire. Forget about”genetics”, change your mindset! 

You are “prepping” your hair all wrong

For instance, to achieve my immaculate “curly hair days“, it requires lots and lots of product (like, no joke, heavy amounts and multiple products on top of one another) and it needs moisture in order to keep it tamed and frizz-free, which means I’m going without washing but every 2-3-4 days, depending. Yes, oil and itch central.

Over-washing any hair type dries it out (especially using hot water), and retaining moisture from washing my curly hair every day would be impossible – conditioner, or not! Do I still do it? You bet. My hair hates me for it, but a girl’s got other priorities. And I’m expected to “deep treat” my hair at least once a week (but I don’t), while for other types of hair, washing daily may be hair survival because of oil build-up. And using a daily conditioner might be too much or not enough.

For curly-haired girls, we WORSHIP the moisture, except when we are looking to go sleek and straight. That doesn’t mean we don’t need it, but have you ever dealt with the time span of a ripe avocado? It’s like that. So each hair type is entirely different. And with that: in order to achieve a look the complete opposite of your hair’s natural state, you must prep it entirely different as well.

For me to go from kinky curly to smooth straight requires 6 steps:

  1. Wash my hair (preferably with a scalp cleansing or smoothing shampoo and conditioner) to strip my scalp of all built-up oils. Often times I will ONLY wash my scalp. I need a CLEAN SLATE scalp free of product.
  2. Apply 3 different STRAIGHTENING products to my clean, wet hair (everywhere except the roots, because you know, hello oil):
    1. something “Anti-frizz”
    2. a heat resistant
    3. and a “straight” or smoothing product
  3.  Blow-dry my hair (using an ion or boar’s bristle brush) in SMALL sections. I repeat, SMALL sections, not half my head at once.
  4. Go back through and use a ceramic plate flat iron in small sections. Again, SMALL sections.
  5. Set my hair with an anti-frizz or volumous holding spray.
  6. And fingers crossed I can get 3-4 GOOD hair days without needing a wash (dry shampoo in between).

Here’s the thing: my hair failed to stay straight the very first time I attempted, and the second, and the third. But within weeks, months and over 15 years later, with the testing of many products – my hair has now become “trained” with the capability of staying straight (except when it gets wet, of course). And at this point I may only straighten my hair once a month, max, while I also can use less and less product.

Now for someone with naturally straight, fine, or thick straight hair, who can’t seem to hold that curl – it’s because your hair’s natural state is not prepped or trained to hold a curl. Something I heard and learned over the years is this: dirty hair is the best hair to achieve desired results. While you may be thinking, “Are you crazy?“, as a matter of fact: day 2, after having prepped and straightened my kinky curly hair, is my overall “Best Hair Day”. It’s when it’s most manageable – if that makes sense.

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hair “prep” for those struggling to hold a curl:

  • Wash less before styling (style on Day 2 natural, dirty hair)
  • When you wash, use a “voluminous” shampoo (mainly or only wash your roots)
  • Use less conditioner (or any “smoothing” products), this essentially “smooths” and weighs down the hair (and the curl, which prevents it from maintaining its shape).
  • Do not blow dry your hair (Using heat and a brush to dry your hair retains the memory of your hair drying “straight”)
  • Make that texturizing spray and holding spray your whiny, little b*tch – no, I’m dead serious.
  • In addition, you may need some extra help – such as a curling wand, twistees that you sleep in overnight, braids, or any of those diy techniques you can find online (such as hair plopping).

hair “prep” for those struggling to keep it straight:

  • Cleanse your hair, but pridominantly your SCALP (stripping it of the build-up of oils), repeat process multiple washes before styling if needed.
  • Use “smoothing” or fortifying shampoo (preferably sulfate-free/anti-frizz or something to protect from damage/weak ends).
  • Go light on conditioner, if not skip it (apply only on your ends, not your roots).
  • Apply product on wet hair, avoiding roots (you want another smoothing product or oil, and don’t forget heat protectant).
  • Blow-dry hair first in small sections, then flat iron over in small sections (takes time, but it’s like a double-whammy).
  • Finish lightly with a holding spray (if you get super oily fast, you might need to use minimally or leave out completely)

Don’t pay the cheap price for damaged hair

It’s honestly tempting to only have to spend $20 on a blow dryer, curling iron, or flat iron – especially if you’re one who doesn’t “style” your mane that much in the first place, like myself. I go all-natural almost too much to save my own life, and by all-natural – mainly just thrown up into a messy bun.

And you’ve been told repeatedly, yet ignored, that your hot tools matter. It isn’t the price that gets you – it’s the heat, the plates, and the air flow you pay for. If you’ve got none of that going for your hair, you can’t sit here and wonder “Why nothing’s working” or “I’ve tried everything“. Guess what? That $25 flat iron is going to crash on you in 6 months, anyway, or burn the ends of your hair to a crisp. 

FYI: no hair type will curl or straighten properly with dead or split ends. You will have to get it cut, and given some R&R before you can have any desired effect again.

Believe me when I say that I used the cheap curling irons and flat irons in my past. *Right now I use mid-grade hot tools – they’re fine with what I’m looking to achieve. But that cheap crap with all the promises damaged my hair to its CORE, especially because I had to use them on my hair repeatedly on the highest heat setting throughout the day to SUSTAIN any sort of shape and look. You shouldn’t be doing that, period.

Now, I’m not saying drop 3-hundo on the Dyson Supersonic Hairdryer (although, I’d kill to have it because I’ve heard it does wonders). But brands like CHI and BabyLiss are a good place to start in the appropriate price range. I’ve gone through several products throughout the years, and some are even my repeated products I continue to use and have lasted me forever.

Hairdryers

Blow Dry Brush

Flat Irons

Flat Iron Combs (you read me right)

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Use a fine-tooth comb on a section of hair to separate the strands as you work your way down root to ends, following behind with your flat iron. It gets every strand of your hair straight, smooth, detangled, and shined – without adding the oils of your hands.

Just trust me on this.

Curling Irons

The right products are the key ingredients

So while prepping your hair is half the work, using the right products is the other half. And you should always apply product to wet hair. The only time product should ever go on dry hair is when you’re using a finishing oil or holding spray. But sometimes even those products can cause your hair to revert back to its natural state, so beware.

Manipulated straight hair needs to stay dry and refrain from excess moisture, and curly hair needs volume, grit (meaning not smooth), and just the right amount of moisture without weighing it down!

It would be senseless for me to use products for straightening my hair that are meant for my naturally curly hair, right? Common sense, I think. The same goes for those with thick or fine straight hair who want to go curly – don’t use any product with “smoothing” or “silkening” results. *Hey straight-haired girls who want curls! You go to the beach, right? You know what beach hair looks and feels like after you’ve been in the ocean or from seaspray? Kinda rough, sticky, coarse-feeling? That’s the base you want.

Naturally straight/wavy hair needs “volume” and “texture” in order to adhere to the curl shape  – yes, even if you have thick straight hair. Volume “lifts” your hair at the root, making it stronger, more manageable to style, and maximizing “fuller” results without curls falling flat or limp. So, don’t be afraid of volume!

And naturally curly hair needs a double dose of straightening training – so, blow-dry wet (using one of the hair drying brushes mentioned above) and then heat styling with a flat iron. I’m not a fan of adding product to my straightened hair once it’s dry and flat ironed, except for the occasional “hair spray” at the very end. Doing so just adds extra oils to your strands, weighs the hair down faster and it poses the chance of reverting your hair back to its curly state.

Again, straight hair needs to stay dry and away from excessive moisture!

Biggest tip for the best straightening results? Humidity blocker, Anti-frizz, and heat resistant products (leave-in products AND shampoo) – 100%. Even if you don’t live anywhere in humid climates – mist and sprinkles will get’cha.

Products for “keeping it straight”

**I don’t guarantee these to work on every single individual, you will have to do the work in figuring out what works for your hair (it’s about the ingredients) – this requires investing some $$.

Products for“holding that curl”

**I don’t guarantee these to work on every single individual, you will have to do the work in figuring out what works for your hair (it’s about the ingredients) – this requires investing some $$.

Honest “tips” to remember when curling straight hair:

  • The idea in curling straight hair is not to miraculously hope your hair “curls” or curls more naturally, but rather to prep it in allowing the ability to take on a “curl shape” through the use of heat, then holding that curl shape temporarily.
  • The smaller the sections (when curling), the better.
  • Apply product to WET hair only; except for a finishing hair spray.
  • When applying the product to thick straight hair, section hair in half or fours and work in a small amount of product in each section for even distribution. Then comb through.
  • Apply finishing spray to each strand before curling (sets and holds the curl).
  • Pin up your curls after each section using bobby pins or gator clips, allowing the curl to “cool down” and hold more shape and volume before setting it with a spray at the very end.
  • A little product goes a long way – too much product only weighs the hair down, and when the hair is weighed down it is less likely to curl or hold its shape.
  • Texturizing spray is a must for straight or wavy hair to take on a curl shape – it is like using sandpaper on a flat, smooth surface in order for paint to hold and stick.
  • Get better results on Day 2 dirty hair (after correct prepping for curling your hair).
  • Curls are likely to fall flat due to 7 probabilities: 1. Humidity (not just from weather or the outside), 2. Continually touching your hair, 3. Too much product, or too little, 4. Not enough hold in the product, 5. Not enough heat to create the shape, 6. Your hair is too damaged or frail (split ends, unhealthy-dry, breakage) or 7. Your hair was not “dirty” upon styling. Keep at figuring out which is likely the problem!

Honest “tips” to remember when straightening curly hair:

  • The idea in straightening curly hair is not to miraculously hope your hair “straightens” or is more naturally straight, but rather to prep it in allowing the ability to take on the “smoothness” through the use of heat, then holding that straight, smooth shape.
  • The smaller the sections (when flat ironing and blow drying), the better.
  • Apply product to WET hair only; except for a finishing hair spray.
  • Blow dry hair completely BEFORE using the flat iron.
  • The right blow drying brush can solve all of your smooth, shine and frizz problems.
  • When applying the product to thick curly hair, section hair in half or fours and work in a small amount of product in each section for even distribution. Then comb through.
  • Washing your hair prior to blow drying is key – the hair needs to be completely cleansed of any excessive moisture and oils at the root – otherwise hair will frizz, fall flat, or regress back to its natural state and retain less of a smooth, straight shape.
  • When using your flat iron, do not use the highest heat setting, especially at your ends; you want to focus on getting that heat at your roots without risking burning your scalp. Bottomline is, get your roots REAL GOOD.
  • Straight hair is likely to revert or fall flat due to 7 probabilities: 1. Humidity (not just from weather or outside), 2. Continually touching your hair, 3. Too much product, or too little, 4. Not enough hold in the product, 5. Not enough heat to create a smooth shape, 6. Your hair is too damaged or frail (split ends, unhealthy-dry, breakage) or 7. Your hair was too “dirty” upon styling.

[Read on to Learn 3 different curl style tutorials using your flat iron, a piece of tin foil and a curling iron]

4 Reasons Why Your Hair Won't Curl Or Straighten | #hairtips #stylingtips | Why your hair won't stay straight or hold a curl | The products to use for curly and straight hair | How to properly prep your hair for the style you desire | How to curl straight hair and how to straighten curly hair | #beautyhacks | theMRSingLink
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