I’m probably following the blog bandwagon with this post, but eh – why not?
The interesting thing is I come across more bucket lists or To-Do-Before-I’m-30 accomplishment posts that are rather nostalgic than celebratory. I can’t help but feel like turning 30 is that dead end zone of my youth, and that’s not how I want it to be.
Reaching a quarter century was an accomplishment, but a third of our lives deserves mourning? Like, why?
I was excited to turn 20 – don’t get me wrong – all for different reasons. But I’m more than excited to get past a lot of the experiences that shaped me, schooled me and burned me. For me this decade was for learning, and the next is about implementing. Turning 30 means new beginnings – starting fresh – as well as seeing all that life has to offer in a new chapter of my adult life.
I guess it’s easier just to say that I’m so over my 20s, and ready to close the book on that portion of my life. That is why I decided to highlight the very reasons I look forward to the big 3-0.
a new decade means a new chapter
I see each year as a way to start fresh, or start new. Not necessarily that I would need to, but for me it’s that realignment to focus on what truly matters and deserves to be a part of my life at this point.
As human beings we are prone to tenacity, or being stuck in our ways (some good, some bad), like staying in that crappy job or relationship you know isn’t doing you any good. This can have an impact on your well-being, mental health and overall attitude on life… as well as for those those in it.
So to me, starting a whole new decade means that much more – letting go of the things I have outgrown.
to me change means growth, and growth means wisdom
And it feels really good.
While many are so resistant to change, I’m more accepting of the changes that have risen for me in the last couple years. I have a new found understanding of living within the means of what I can control and accepting what I cannot. This goes for physical and emotional changes, my family and friend relationships and others in my life, as well as my personal choices, values, beliefs and opinions.
It has taken me longer than it should to realize that I need to change and grow in a way that’s best for me, regardless of how it may affect those around me. I’ve spent the last few years worrying about what others think, and making decisions for myself and in my life based on this very worry.
Growth comes full circle – respecting yourself, respecting others regardless of differences (while understanding the value of that wisdom) and removing anything that brings unwarranted negativity to your life. There are things and people I’ve tolerated simply because I feared not having them in my life at all.
I have no reason to hold onto my 20s
I have a love/hate relationship with my 20s. It was filled with a lot of good and a lot of bad. There are a lot of memories I am more than happy to leave behind, as well as memories and wisdom I can carry over and cherish in the coming decades.
For many their 20s are the best years of their lives as coming adults. I just never really saw it that way – I never really felt like an adult at all, actually. If anything this decade always felt like a constant fork in the road, testing me and my life decisions, and leaving me unsure of where I wanted to go or who I wanted to be.
I didn’t spend my 20s getting that clarity of who I am versus who I wanted or thought to be – not until now. But I am excited to be finally outgrowing this portion of my life. It doesn’t bring me sadness, but instead anticipation, hope and grace for what’s to come.
My 20s were for learning – so now I can finally start living.
getting “older” doesn’t really have that negative stigma for me anymore
Instead of focusing on life happiness or fulfillment, overall health, the ability to retire and live comfortably, or creating a life with no regrets… there’s significantly more concern over the things you can’t really control, or the inevitable.
Whether we think it, say it, imply it, believe it or not, there’s this negative stigma with getting older as a decline in beauty. More tend to worry about the decline of youth that age brings. And a number – the big 3-0 – always seems to be the starting point to blame.
TBH, the physical aspect is just another thing I am learning to embrace. Eventually we’re all going to have gray/white, thinning hair, unwanted wrinkles and saggy, rubbery, fragile skin. Even if you have deep-filled pockets, a good plastic surgeon or have the superpower to eliminate all stress from ever impacting your life, aging will still run parallel with every passing year.
So why fear it?
There are so many other important things to put my worries toward, and focusing on what I will look like with age shouldn’t be one of them.
turning 30 literally doesn’t change anything except a number
I feel like the 30-year gap is such an uncool image to our youth (aka boresville snoresville). There’s a lot of presumed expectations, too. Like you need to be within certain life requirements by that time, or else you’ll “fall behind”. So it wouldn’t surprise me at all to find that most the 30-year as the decade of settling down with marriage and kids.
And if you’re not, well, there are a lot of assumptions for that, too.
It’s like your 30s exist for very, very few things, and God forbid you’re going a different path, or still act like you did in your twenties into your thirties… then what are you even doing with your life?
I think this is why, from our youth, our 30s aren’t necessarily celebrated if you’re not where you want to be in life by then. In fact, it can be apprehensive and ends up being treated as a ticking time bomb.
Besides, turning 30 is riddled with changes most associate with negative aspects of growing up. When in reality it’s young adults who have yet to understand the true meaning of maturity into adulthood. I was 24 when I realized how pitiful and pointless dating (for fun) was, 25 when I was more than ready to settle down with my person, 26 when I no longer associated partying as being fulfilling, 27 when I truly developed an appreciation for “saving” money for retirement (rather than for materialistic wants) and 29 when I said to myself, “I see it – I get it now.”
Sure, I can’t party like I used to and you couldn’t convince me otherwise to commit to plans after 7pm, but turning 30 doesn’t limit me of fun and happiness. It doesn’t take away, conceal or rob me of anything – it doesn’t necessarily change anything.
I could literally do everything I did in my 20s if I wanted…though results may vary.
My joys now are much different than they were at 21, and even at 25. But I’ll still be enjoying life the very same when the clock strikes midnight on my thirtieth birthday, and my fortieth, fiftieth and so on.