No matter what, a bride’s big day – their wedding day – will stir with nerves and stress. Sometimes the stress is merely jitters, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all. Then there are other stressors, like when something’s out of place or goes entirely wrong.
Though I understand this is a day most women dream about, it’s important to dial in the true meaning of this big day as well. And if you’re a bride who experienced more stress throughout the wedding planning process, this post is especially for you.
Oftentimes, we fail to notice the correlation of stress creating or facilitating new problems that never existed, or feeding into them (making a mountain out of a molehill). Stress can simply imply a need to predict and control the unknown and unlikeliness on your big day. So if you were to think about logistics, there are only TWO things you absolutely need in order for your wedding to function – a qualified officiant, and a witness.
OKKK, and a husband – DUH.
Everything else is a personal necessity, and there are far too many necessities to stress over when none of it would even matter without an officiant. But, the reason we want everything oh-so-perfect? Because that one teeny, tiny, minuscule thing that goes wrong we will NEVER forget – am I right? Well, that’s because we let 1 hiccup become larger than the 1,000,000 other magical aspects of the wedding day.
Don’t let this consume your thinking – it will haunt you in other areas of life, trust me.
Nonetheless, it’s still a day we expect perfection – understandably so. In achieving that, there are some things that brides need to relinquish, and stress LESS about.
7 Wedding day stressors brides need to care less about
What your bridesmaids look like
Honestly, why does this matter so much? I’m amazed at how many brides let their big days be ruined by the simple fact their “girls'” hairstyles don’t match their vision perfectly, someone bought the wrong color shoes or that one forgot to dye their roots – now the entire day is TRASH.
This is a day about you. I mean, you ARE the bride, so all eyes will be on YOU. Okkk, and your husband-to-be, too. Nobody will even be batting one eye at the bridesmaids except for any single, impressionable guests…or groomsmen. And so what? The majority of your guests – I promise you – will not even notice the fact your bridesmaid has a stain on her dress or that one is wearing flats instead of heels as you requested. Your guests are there to simply see you – in your dress – and watch you walk down that aisle – saying I do to the man of your dreams. Ok, ok, ok and for the food and the booze – let’s be really honest, here.
So if you truly want something to worry about – make sure there is enough to drink and that the food is hot!
Whether your place settings, table arrangements, or seating chart are correct
Don’t let this petty stuff rain on your parade. It’s not the end of the world if something wasn’t set up just right, the forks were on the right instead of the left (I don’t know which side they even go on, and nobody cares!), that Aunt Carol was mistakenly seated with some of your husband’s fraternity brothers or your sister invited her estranged boyfriend who wasn’t even a Plus One. Everyone will find a seat – anywhere, somewhere – and the show will go on.
What you do need to worry about is making sure you have a seat, a drink, and have a bite to eat yourself that night. Because the last thing you want to do is go stir crazy, sugar levels dropping to the floor, and having a bride pass out on her wedding day.
Rain, & just plain ole’ less-than-perfect weather
If you planned an outdoor wedding – by golly I hope you also planned for a backup, even if you live in the desert. Mother nature isn’t going to be thinking of you that day, unfortunately. She is going to do what she simply does best – her.
Therefore, you literally can’t control the weather.
Think of it this way: some brides lost out on THOUSANDS due to natural disasters because they couldn’t even have their wedding, let alone get married at all on their day – not even at the courthouse. Don’t fret over a little rain shower or thunderstorm. You can still say your I Do’s – it will be something magical to remember. And if I remember correctly, rain on your wedding is actually good luck.
That volcano-sized pimple, or chipped nail
Trust me, nobody will get that close to you (at least not for very long) to even notice. As for pictures, you do realize photoshop is thing right? Your photographer will have that white-headed volcano into a valley of smoothness, like it never existed. For imperfections, a little extra primer and double on the makeup in that area throughout the day, and you’re good to go. And whatever you do – don’t pick it!
You’re getting married – your now husband has and will see much, much worse in his future. A little zit on the most committed day of his life isn’t going to scare him off that easily. And sure, spending the $150 to have a chipped nail for the big day sucks, but if that’s the worst thing that’s going to happen, let it be THAT.
Who shows up uninvited & who doesn’t show up at all
So your friend’s loser off-and-on boyfriend decides to make an appearance – uninvited. At this point in the game – so what? What are you going to do – cause a scene in the middle of walking down the aisle or at the reception? It’s not worth it, and he’s definitely not worth that effort.
And for you to notice that someone didn’t show is a little obsessive, and irrelevant don’t you think? I had hardly 50 people at my wedding and I don’t think I would have noticed if one person didn’t show, nor would I be bothered. I was too busy having fun, spending every moment with my husband, taking advantage of our full bar, and eating delicious food. Â
They missed out by not coming – big whoop.Â
Plus, are you going to throw a fit, and put unnecessary stress on your now husband over someone you either despise, didn’t invite or who didn’t show at all? More than likely he will be thinking exactly what you should be, “This day and night is about you and I – not them – stop letting it bother you. You only get to live this night once (hopefully), make the best of it. Now, kiss me, have a drink, and let loose.“
Getting every single iconic wedding picture known to man
Your photographer should have a list of your “definite” wants as far as pictures taken, poses, and group shots. In a 4-hour span, your photographer will have taken well over 300 pictures – some almost duplicate in order to get the perfect shot.
You know how many pictures the average bride actually end up using (for picture frames, photo albums, etc.)? A FRACTION.
It isn’t your job to be on top of your photographer unless they have clearly gone MIA. You’re paying top dollar to have somebody photograph memories of this day – trust them in doing so – while you simply enjoy every moment. Stop worrying about getting enough pictures from different angles (because, you know, you have a good side) and making sure you get 1,000 versions of your dress hanging on the hanger.
You know what won’t look good in your pictures? A stressed out, frantic bride who can’t not be in control. And that’s something you can see beyond the forced smile.
How drunk your bridal party are, & anyone else for that matter
I mean, it is a wedding. Right? Of all the weddings I went to as a guest/bridesmaid, only 2 I was sober enough to drive home from. Otherwise, I am honestly amazed I made it out of many of those weddings alive.
So your groomsmen have a few cocktails before the ceremony – what gives? Let’s be honest about how long they take to get ready as well as how long they have to sit around waiting for the wedding to start. What else are they to do besides drink and throw on a tie?
To stress over the possibility of any and every intoxicated member of your wedding sabotaging your big day is useless, and simply unlikely. You have more of a chance of sabotaging your big day by how you handle yourself. If you’re worried about “judgey” eyes and whispers from strangers and prude family members – let it go – you’re not going to have time to babysit and control EVERYONE that day. It’s a celebration, after all.
It’s just another thing out of your complete control – as everything else I mentioned. Sure, these things may jerk you the wrong way on your big day, but every wedding has little uncontrollable imperfections/mishaps and later you’re going to laugh about it. But more than likely you won’t even remember.
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