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If you asked me how I attained my own self worth – I’d honestly tell you patience and acceptance. I learned that my life was not centered around going above and beyond myself (meaning, expecting perfection), and that when those around me hurt me it wasn’t my duty to tolerate it (my subconscious always had this way of telling me I needed to force out the culprit from my life). I learned to forgive and be more accepting of my true self. In turn, I found my sense of worthiness. Worthy of anything I wanted in this world – happiness, love, respect and more.
But I will tell you – the time and patience doesn’t just stop. Having self worth isn’t like reaching an end point – it’s a forever, on-going and continual process. It involves upkeep, rediscovery, maintenance, and constant self reflection. To me, self worth is the journey you take with yourself – the commitment to yourself and the one life you are given.
It pains me, and at times frustrates me, to see when others have yet to know and understand their own worth as I do mine. Especially when it’s right under their nose – waiting and begging to be seen! Because having self worth is crucial in this life, as society is ever-changing (sometimes for the good, and for the worst). And if we fail to attain it, we are constantly failing ourselves of the true key to happiness.
why knowing your worth
is crucial in life
[+ 30 ways to attain self worth]
you won’t always be “likeable”
It’s impossible to be everyone’s cup of tea – someone has probably told you that at some point in your life. The point is – you have to be more than okay with that. Your worth isn’t just based how those around you value you, but how you value yourself – minus what others in this world may think.
Your self worth is merely acceptance of the person you are – without trying to change in order to appease those around you. Because in doing so makes you no longer individually unique, and you are allowing the voices and perceptions of those around you to mold you into who they want you to be.
those with malicious intent will always exist
Self worth is your back bone. It is the support that will get you through the toughest breaks, harshest words and the people in this world who need self love the most. And unfortunately, this world is filled with those who have none of it, want to take it away from others and make the ones around them feel their pain and suffering for not having it.
There are those who feed off your fears and failures, want to steal your pride and success and take advantage of your value and worth. Having self worth is like having that invisible shield. It’s what allows us to throw caution to the wind, and come out stronger than before – no matter the outcome.
maintaining it is the key to your true happiness
If you have self worth – you know that you are more than well deserving of the best in life. Meaning, you don’t let negativity, misfortunes, failures, or hurt inflicted by others take away from making you happy. You don’t settle for less than what you want, or for what isn’t morally right, because you know as a person you are deserving and worthy of more.
This is where having self worth becomes not only a mindset, but a true unconditional love for yourself. And who is the real key to your life’s happiness? Yep – you.
[Related Read: 4 Things You Need To Stop Doing In Order To Live A Happier Life]
30 ways to attaining self worth
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understand that self worth starts with you – nobody else is responsible for helping you achieve it
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understand that self worth is not self esteem – we may not always “feel good” about ourselves, but self worth is knowing our value as a person underneath.
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understand that by focusing solely on “feeling good” about ourselves, we tend to rely on the world around us to validate our worth
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stop comparing yourself, and your life, to others
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avoid listening to that negative shoulder-critic
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don’t settle for less than what you truly deserve
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fill your time and day with things of value and meaning to you
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acknowledge your failures as a lesson, and let it be an act for growth
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do right by you – not by what anyone else thinks or says
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let go of your negative pride – that stubbornness blocks every and all things good from entering your life
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make choices and decisions in your life that you will be proud of
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stop victimizing yourself for your losses or misfortunes – you’re only doing yourself a disservice
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surround yourself with those who positively influence you
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learn to accept help from others, while being more assertive in helping others
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make more time for self-appreciation
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let go of trying to win others’ approval
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you know you best, so be your own adviser, bodyguard, friend and teacher
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if you want to make an impact on others – start by making a positive impact on yourself
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forgive yourself, a lot
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instead of always going for perfectionism, aim for being real
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learn to self sabotage less, and build yourself up more
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stop grading, or rating yourself – learn to just be you
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stand in front of the mirror, look into your eyes and say to yourself daily – out loud – “I am worthy, I am enough” until it you actually mean it
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it all starts with a positive attitude – a positive attitude about yourself
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be more kind to yourself, as you are to be to others
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treat yourself as a separate entity – like another person – and you are likely to treat it with more compassion
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reward yourself and your successes
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self imperfections are unanimous – everyone has them – so embrace them instead of looking for compensation
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learn to walk away from the things that bring about pain and suffering, and say “NO” to the things that go against your morals
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rid of ALL negativity – especially coming from the people or things that make an impact on your life