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Is it me, or are our lives sometimes an overflowing cup? Whatever be the cause – all I know is that when my cup is overflowing, I’m not a happy camper. And when I’m not a happy camper, my life seems to shift off it’s axis and it becomes more difficult to restrain my priorities. There are just some things I continually have to remind myself and simply let go of in order to live a happier life.
And we’re not perfect – pfft, I’m sure as heck not, no way – and it’s a winning day when I have been able to succeed 24 whole hours without eye rolling over something. Because this anxiety-stricken woman can go on an over-analytical tangent at the drop of a dime. But there have been some serious things I needed to cut out of my life’s pattern just to help relieve my anxiety. From toxic ways, negative thinking and attitude, and choices that greatly impact my outlook on life as a whole. By making this commitment to change, I’m slowly becoming a happier person in general, and with myself, which can be a lot to hope for out of busy, chaotic lives. Help lead the way to live a happier life, and healthier you through eliminating these 4 tendencies.
4 things you need to
stop doing
in order to live a happier life
Living in a false reality
Social media has literally given us this false perception as to how life is supposed to be. All good – zero bad. But the difference is when we experience the bad, we blow it up 10x more than we should. We allow the bad in our lives to affect us greater than all the good we receive. We can have the tendency to make mountains out of mole hills. Frankly, that is no way to live. All that is is added stress to the mind and body, which is incredibly negative towards our overall health.
Reality is – we need to ensure ourselves that imperfection is OKAY, bad things happen to good people, life isn’t going to be a straight, clear path and we’re going to come across some dead ends and failures along the way. We have to learn to overcome the bad, our weaknesses and our failures in order to live a happier life.
Observing & comparing others
And whether or not we believe it – we do this all the time. Most of the time unknowingly, too. It’s the reason for envy, jealousy and our negative emotions and opinions from observing others’ lives. And if you can guess where most of this observing and comparing begins, then you most likely have fallen victim to this behavior before.
Social media – once again, the culprit to many downfalls. Because, like mentioned above, how likely are you to see anything other than the good in peoples’ lives on the Facebook, Twitter or Instagram feeds? Sure, you might have the few who just have to have something to complain about, aren’t afraid to go way overboard on TMI, or those voicing about certain atrocities or political standpoints (pfft, who am I kidding – at that point we’ve probably unfollowed or unfriended that person), but what are you likely doing by observing and comparing your life to others’?
Wow, she goes on really cool trips. Gosh I wish I could just up and leave my job to travel…
Another day, another man. I can’t even get a date on Valentine’s Day…
How do they have the money to get another nice car? Four kids, one sole income – I don’t get it – I can’t even afford groceries by myself…
He’s sick all – the – time. When will they get the hint…
If I have to read about how we don’t need gun control one more time – I might explode on him…
Great, she’s getting married. Here I am with the same man for eight years, no ring, and she’s with someone for two…
You’re allowing someone else’s life to affect or dictate how you feel about your own, based on your simple change in attitude. [clickToTweet tweet=”Just as much as you shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks, your quality of #life shouldn’t depend on what you think of others’. @themrsinglink” quote=”Just as much as you shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks, your quality of life shouldn’t depend on what you think of others’. ” theme=”style1″]
How crazy is that? Bonkers, really, that we can allow someone else to alter our attitude and in turn our following behavior. And in no way am I innocent. This is not something easy to overcome – honestly – because it can only be done by choice. To even slightly get a taste, or to be an ear or eye of someone else’s life without having to live it is something that of a guilty pleasure. It’s an addiction – and not a healthy one. Why do you think tabloids and reality shows exist – people have an insane love for drama. For one or more reasons, it’s the satisfaction of observing and judging others’ lives rather than focusing on our own. And in the end we’re left feeling an emptiness over time from neglecting our own happiness in life. We must stop living out our lives in that way, and fully invest in the one we are given. You only get one, you know.
Rushing your milestones
One way or another, our own successes fulfill our happiness in life. No doubt about it, but if our milestones don’t happen when we anticipate or expect them to, all is lost in the world. Maybe because we are, 1. comparing the quality and timeline of our milestones to others’, or 2. never fully satisfied by our successes or milestones.
So if you knew me – I mean, really knew me – you’d know that I have a unique voice specifically for my dog.
Yes, weird – I know – don’t really care, and not sorry. Anyway, back to the moral of the story. My dog generally takes quite some time to, you know, do his business. So I usually am one to call out, “C’mon, Andrea – hurry it up!” And then in my dog-voice, Andrea will usually respond, “You can’t rush perfection, mom!”
Alright, so – stupid analogy, yes – but seriously, though. We expect so much of ourselves at times, yet with so little patience and understanding. Sure, doing our business isn’t exactly a milestone (though could be a very, very simple daily milestone), but hopefully you catch my drift.
It’s as true as they say, you can’t rush perfection. Whether it’s that job promotion, graduating, getting engaged, finding Love, buying a house or saving money – there’s always a reason in the saying “when the time is right“. Slow down – enjoy the journey – not the endpoint.
being so distracted
I find that it’s difficult – for most of us – to simply live in the moment. We’re distracted beings. We always have our phones out and ready – taking pictures, calling to tell someone something that happened or to express our feelings and emotions on something – without ever just living, breathing and taking in moments for what they are.
We have to have pictures and video for moments to be true memories. By the time that new mom was trying to load, fiddle with, choose a filter and focus the camera on her phone – she just entirely missed her baby walk, crawl, speak or smile for the first time, rather than just being present and living it.
Well, guess what? I’m getting older, and I’m struggling to remember times with those I have through PICTURES, over those without. There have been many moments in my life where I tell my husband, “I wish I could be able to fully relive that moment in my mind, without having had this dire need to focus on getting the perfect picture!” My trip to Italy – I was so focused on getting good pictures for the blog that I can’t even recollect moments in my head that I have in picture.
That reality for me has become a pivotal turning point in my life. So, in the last few months – that’s what I’ve really started doing more of! Less of updating my Facebook and Instagram feed with cool, fun things or beautiful shots, and just living in the moments.