5 Myths about vacationing in the Florida Keys

There are many myths floating around about vacationing in the Florida Keys. And maybe it’s just me, but I find that most people (who first visit the Florida Keys) wind up being disappointed based on these myths, which is unfortunate since the Florida Keys is still one of the most popular vacation destinations in the US.

And as a part-time Key Largonian, it’s up to me to help clear some of the many misconceptions out there in hopes it will deter people from forgoing the Florida Keys as a vacation destination based on wrongful presumptions and unrealistic expectations. So let’s unpack these 5 myths about the Florida Keys I hear the most often.

5 Myths about vacationing in the Florida Keys

The Florida Keys is a postcard tropical paradise

Listennnn. This is half true, half false. Let me explain.

There are parts of the Florida Keys that are ab-so-lutely breathtaking – panoramic worthy. Okay, but that is without saying that the majority of the Florida Keys, not visible to the waterview eye, is pretty “meh”. Or, at least, not what you envision in the promise of tropical paradise since maybe you watched the Islamorada-based show Bloodline or because you heard Key Largo and steel drum band in the song Kokomo by the Beach Boys. I can guarantee you will encounter “meh” pretty much anywhere you go, including paradise. Costa Rica – definitely some so-so, sketchy, and less than appealing areas. California – same thing. Alaska – even being out in the middle of BFE won’t always be jaw dropping.

People have this idea that the Florida Keys in every and all direction, everywhere they look, is just like this.

That’s a photo in the Maldives.

Now – and I can promise you – there are definitely places in the Florida Keys that look just as picturesque. But you’ll find them at your upscale Resorts, like The Cheeca Lodge, La Siesta, Baker’s Cay or Pines and Palms Resort. There’s a unique beauty to be discovered in the Florida Keys, and that may not always be in plain view. This is the view from my private community beach in Key Largo, probably the most underrated Key and middle child to Islamorada and Key West.

Uh, hello, gorgeousssss.

Basically, I’m chalking it up to unfulfilled, “glamorized” expectations. The Florida Keys is not the Bahamas, even if they are not that far apart.

It’s too expensive

So is Disney, yet millions flock to the Land of the Mouse year after year after year and are willing to drop thousands without much complaint. As a Central Florida born native, whose only been to Disney less than a handful of times, I will never understand.

I think when people say vacationing in the Florida Keys is too expensive it’s because their priorities, and frankly their expectations, are out of whack. Not only because people expect drop dead paradise with white sandy beaches (which, if you’ve done enough research it’s no secret that the Florida Keys has no “real” beaches since it literally sits on ROCK), but because the money being spent are in all the wrong places at the wrong time.

Granted, if you can afford the upscale resorts and water view bungalows, by all means. If you need all-inclusive, turndown bed service then expect to dish the dough, but generally anything with resort, spa, marina, villas, beachfront, or suites in the name is going to cost you a pretty penny. Besides, for the most part you’re surrounded by water on both sides from US-1, so you’re going to be spending a good bit on hotel accommodations being so close to the water.

Yet it’s easier than you think to avoid spending $300-$500/night and still find a beautiful stay that meets your needs – notice I said “needs”. As for the wrong time – if you’re vacationing during snowbird or busy season (November through February or Florida “Summer”) for the Florida Keys, of course you’ll wonder why you can’t find a room for less than $300/min. per night.

As for the food, did you know you should expect to pay (at minimum) $35 per person at nearly any of Disney’s iconic restaurants? Or Disney Springs, Pointe Orlando, Clearwater Beach or St. Petersburg these days – eating out isn’t cheap, period, especially if you vacation to the country’s most *popular* destinations. The Florida Keys survives essentially off it’s tourism, meanwhile a majority of it’s long-term or permanent residents are the very backbone of this place and earning their living in the service and hospitality industry.

But first things first, when it comes to places to eat in the Florida Keys: stop getting the overpriced salmon in a place where you can literally get local fish caught SAME DAY. And if you still think the whole eating thing is expensive, then I have a few tips on how you can take a nice heap off your bill each meal:

1. Avoid going to the “popular”/famous restaurants. It’s nothing against them at all – places like Caribbean Club, Lorelei, Robbie’s, Island Fish Co. and Sloppy Joes are all great. They get the job done, but you’ve got three meals a day to factor in if you’re not cookin‘.
2. Lay off the specialty cocktails or all night boozing at the fancy restaurants and breweries – they’ll getcha.
3. If you go out to eat, go for brunch, lunch, or happy hour. Lunch and happy hour specials are still a thing, and it’s generally less expensive than the dinner menu. Plus, you’re less likely to eat from the Entre section of the menu where you’re tempted with plates upwards of $30-$40.
4. Splurge for lunch and/or dinner so you technically only require two meals a day. Meaning, either eat a late breakfast or early lunch then a late lunch or an early dinner. *It’s more than doable to run by the local grocer for snacks, fruit, bars and other nonperishables for in-between.
5. So you want to “eat on the water” – just know that those are going to be pricier. And not every joint by the water has great food or service – know this. So you’re risking paying for a view, and that’s fine, but choose X number of times or places that are waterfront for the duration of your trip instead of expecting to eat waterside every meal.
6. Stop getting dessert at restaurants – it’s more expensive, period. If you want the iconic Key Lime Pie, get it off site, like at the Key Lime Pie Factory, Key Largo’s Chocolates or Kermit’s in Key West.

All I’m going to say is after years of testing the Florida Keys restaurant waters…you get your money’s worth at the places “less traveled”, and they’re just as good, if not better (and more authentic).

The Florida Keys isn’t Key West

I think when most people think of the Keys, they literally only think of Key West. Therefore, geography-wise, the Florida Keys means Key West. And that’s obviously not the case. It takes two hours alone to go from the tip of the Florida Keys channel of islands to Key West, so from Key Largo to the Southernmost Point in Key West is a stretch of 100 miles.

Because of this misconception, people tend to only think Key West is the one and only vacation destination in the entire Florida Keys, which may or may not leave you disappointed depending on how much you want to spend and what you want to do.

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Key West is for party go-ers

Another misconception – that Key West is deemed the party town for party go-ers. Obviously, since they have the cruise port, Duval Street (a well known street flooded with bars) and oftentimes festivities or crowds that may not be considered “kid-friendly” (cough, cough, like the nude bar on Duval).

I get it, honestly. I’d never take my child down Duval Street at night, especially on a weekend or Holiday weekend. People are collected in this area for eating and drinking (especially after sundown or on a Holiday/weekend), and while this scene may not be appropriate for underage viewers and children, it’s unfortunate that all of Key West receives this reputation in full and all year round when there are definitely a range of very family-friendly things Key West has to offer that don’t have to do with late-night partying.

At the end of the day, – hm, fitting – Key West may be a better *day trip* visit. This is more than doable if you’re staying somewhere else along the Florida Keys.

Sure, if the partying is your thing, great, you will enjoy yourself. But if you’re looking for a more laid back, authentic Key West vibe that is more family-friendly, there are ways to achieve this as well. Start by avoiding hotel or B&B accommodations along Duval Street, period, (unless its the South End, which is more quaint and quiet, but anything along Duval will be more expensive, anyway). Then take advantage of activities on the outskirts of Key West, rather than Duval Street (which is the centralized area of Key West). At the North End, there are museums, an aquarium, tour trains and your local guides as well as shops and restaurants. Every evening at sunset, on the North End, there’s what’s called Mallory Square that usually has an array of performers, vendors and food where everyone gathers to watch the sun go down – it’s like a low-key, mini sunset festival suitable for all ages. At the South End, you’ll find Key West’s two man-made beaches (Smathers Beach) and their State Park (Fort Zachary), which are perfect for beach going and snorkeling while watching the cruise ships come in. Fort Zachary even has an old fort worth exploring and for picturesque views.

[Pictures at the end of this post.]

“There’s not much to do..[for families, kids, elders]”

Or that there’s things to do but they’re not necessarily suitable for all kids, families or elders. Like with anywhere, not everything is suitable for everyone. How is Disney really ideal [relaxing, enjoyable, suitable] for parents or grandparents – the walking, standing in lines, crappy theme park food, and unbearable crowds? Yeahhh, I really have a thing against vacationing at Disney, if you can’t tell already.

Since the Florida Keys is technically not a “beach paradise” that many often confuse with idealistic places like the Bahamas or Fiji, I get why people may be like, “Ummmmmm…..so what is there?” Part of the problem I think is – going back to unrealistic expectations – is that people have conditioned vacations to be more about doing and less about getting away. At this point vacationing is merely an extension to what we already do in our everyday lives – staying “busy”, filling our plates, entertaining our kids, and staying mentally stimulated in whatever means necessary. What ever happened to decompressing, thinking less and doing less? Sometimes traveling to the Florida Keys is an invitation to wake up and say, “So…what do you want to do today?” based on the weather for that day.

Although vacationing in the Florida Keys may not necessarily be as easy as “pick somewhere” and just “go”. Maybe for the easy to please, it certainly can be. Depending on what needs you want met, some research may be involved, because if you were to split the Florida Keys into threes – Upper (Key Largo, Islamorada), Middle (Marathon, Big Pine), and Lower Keys (Key West) – you’ll find they are actually vastly different in terms of not only price but amenities and things to do. Granted, again, you can technically take a drive to Key West from Key Largo and consider it a “day trip” (many actually visit the Keys for this ability). You can also technically schedule a fishing charter or take a snorkel cruise anywhere in the Florida Keys, but these things are all dependent on your priorities and circumstances (kids, elders, minimal time and budget).

So here’s a quick breakdown of what to expect in the threes of the Florida Keys:

• Upper Keys (Key Largo, Islamorada)
  • Key Largo –
    • More commercial/residential/industrial area with less localized “water access”; there’s fewer things [to do] that are considered “walking distance” or remote, unlike Islamorada (like shopping, dining, sightseeing, etc.).
    • Requires a bit more “planning” in terms of recreational activities, like a snorkel tour or fishing charter.
    • Better known for their water sports (jet skiing, paddle boarding, kayaking, catamaran sailing) and backcountry fishing (bayside/Everglades National Park).
    • No local/public access to man-made beach (as of yet).
    • Home of John Pennecamp State Park, which does have [paid] beach access along with boating/kayak access and some hiking trails; this would be the place of choice to snorkel (the famous “Statue of Christ”) and to kayak/paddle board.
  • Islamorada –
    • More accommodating for tourism, with arrays of shops, restaurants, art galleries, breweries, and museums within “walking distance”; Islamorada also has what’s called Theater of the Sea (swim with the dolphins, animal shows, etc.).
    • Better known for their sport fishing; *Islamorada also has bridge access for fishing.
    • Accommodations are going to be pricier since they’re closer if not beach front/bay front – *Motel, Inn or condo rental options are going to be less expensive than resorts.
    • More/closer “water access”; Islamorada has more bridges and there’s easier access to water (kayak, boat, paddleboard access); *a popular snorkel spot (easy access by kayak/paddle board) is near Robbie’s on the Atlantic side at Indian Key State Park.
    • Local/public man-made beach access at Anne’s Beach (dog-friendly); this park has a boardwalk with covered pavilion access to the water, but it is less like a sandy beach and more just straight water access – *lots of paddle boarding, kayaking and kitesurfing here!
    • Home of Long Key State Park (with [paid] kayak and beach access), Indian Key State Park (only access is by boat or kayak) and Windley Key State Park (with several different hiking trails).

[You can watch the video of Key Largo and Islamorada.]

• Middle Keys (Marathon, Big Pine)
  • Marathon –
    • More centralized commercial, industrial and residential with less localized “water access”; similar to Key Largo, Marathon is more like a bustling “city center” – *not considered “walking distance” to shops, restaurants, water access and amenities compared to Islamorada.
    • You can expect to find all the same recreational activities available here, like kayaking, paddle boarding, and fishing – there’s also an aquarium as well as a Turtle Hospital that offers tours (*a must do!).
    • More inexpensive options for accommodations – *condos/duplex rentals, AirB&B, motels, RV parks, etc.
    • Lots of bridge fishing access – *this is popular in the middle keys around Layton, Grassy and Duck Key!
    • Local/public man-made beach access at Sombrero Beach – *this beach actually has sand!
    • Home of the Seven Mile Bridge, Curry Hammock State Park and Bahia Honda State Park (both State Parks have [paid] beach access as well as kayak access and hiking trails).
  • Big Pine Key –
    • More residential; unless you prefer to be away from the hustle and bustle (your only access to shopping and dining is over the Seven Mile Bridge from here).
    • Big Pine is more popular for the back county fishing and kayaking – *public water access is unknown unless it is privately owned.
    • AirB&B rentals or RV park accommodations – *these may only be monthly.
    • Home of [close to] Bahia Honda State Park and the Seven Mile Bridge.

[You can watch the video of Marathon and visiting Key West.]

• Lower Keys (Key West)
  • Key West –
    • More residential outskirts with condensed shopping and dining in the central area of the island – Key West is approx. only 1 mile across, so everything is, technically, considered walking distance.
    • Many recreational activities available, from parasailing, catamaran cruises, fishing charters, kayak/paddleboard tours, snorkel/dive tours, spearfishing guides, Key West train tours, museums, aquariums, art galleries, local shops, sight-seeing, and an array of dining options. *There’s plenty to do on this 1 mile wide island!
    • Rental accommodations are *more limited and pricier depending on location (on the water or closer to Duval Street the more expensive) – *Stock Island is considered less expensive since it is the island just before Key West, but still within a short Uber distance to the heart of Key West.
    • Local/public man-made beach access at Smathers Beach and Higgs Beach (this one is dog-friendly) – *these public beaches actually have sand!
    • Home of Fort Zachary State Park ([paid] beach and fort access with snorkeling and swimming), AND Dry Tortugas National Park (only access is by seaplane or boat/ferry).

Sincerely, I hope this post helps unpack the many myths about vacationing in the Florida Keys and why the Keys are still one of THE most popular [family] vacation destinations in the US (bye-bye Disney, LOL).