The key word here is *after* a first date. That means you’ve said your good-byes and parted ways. If he likes you and wants to see you again, there are certainly ways he will SHOW you.
Frankly, these three are likely ones you’ve already heard before, but maybe my in-depth take will highlight something *new* for you.
I believe, after a first date, there’s this short-term but still prominent and significant span of time where feelings are heightened, dopamine is in full force and the wheels are in motion (think of the “high”). This naturally slows down and dissipates over time, allowing you to authentically reflect on a date not just based on feelings.
Now, I can’t say how long of a reflection span is appropriate, which is why the 3-day rule is so frowned upon. Either way, we ought to give people some level of grace if they’re not chomping at the bit to plan date #2 before the first one has yet to end.
This isn’t said enough, but PSA: you don’t have to be head over heels to be *interested* in someone or to *want* a second date.
Nonetheless, if you’ve had a first date with someone and you’re wondering whether he likes you and wants to see you again, here are 3 clear signs.
3 First date signs he likes you + wants to see you again
He WILL follow up
I’m probably going against the grain on this one, but honestlyyyyyyyy….I don’t care! After a first date, the guy who actually had a good time, really likes you and wants to see you again is going to [immediately] follow up with you.
Whether that be as soon as you step in your door or on his ride home (meaning, he couldn’t even wait to get home), before you turn to bed (preceding a “goodnight” or “sweet dreams” text), the following morning or sometime the next day. Something!
The guy who likes you isn’t going to risk losing an opportunity or just let it float on by in order to keep his cool.
I know many will scoff and say even those who aren’t actually interested will send a follow up “out of courtesy” but I still say follow up is better than no follow up.
In fact, the person disinterested is less likely to do any sort of following up. Though they may reach out eventually or stay in and out of contact after the first date, the communication is usually treated as if the date was of no significance.
In general, people are not that good at faking interest; we also may be sub-par at reading between the lines. Besides, Love requires taking risks. There’s a noticeable difference between, “Tonight was fun, thanks, [smiley]” and “I had an amazing time. I’m glad I met you, enjoyed getting to know you, and I hope we can do this again soon?“
In one breath, words do matter, and how we word/say things convey what’s in the heart! BUT, yes, actions must follow.
Also, for those saying women can do the following up as well – sure, by all means! Ladies, let’s not shy away from this as well.
This is where facing possible rejection comes into play. Following up means taking a fairly big risk – it is (or should be) kind of like backdoor “professing” how you feel moving forward. You’ve taken a breath and had a little time to reflect (but not waiting or overthinking it for *too* long) where following up sets in motion that, Hey, I enjoyed the first date and, for me, there’s something worth exploring more.
Following up is to be based on how YOU felt about the date as well as how you feel about him…not how *you think* he feels about you or whether or not he felt the same about the date – unless it was blatantly obvious he’s not into you.
Side note we need to consider: sometimes following up may be that he really likes you and he really enjoyed the date but received a differing or mismatched vibe from you (which may or may be accurate), so he is inquiring where your head is at in a more laid back or vague way. Straighten this out!
He WILL call/text
If he likes you, he will banter with you. Do we still use that term anymore? LOL, anyway, yes, banter. The back and forth cutsy phone calls (even if they’re not for hours on end), or by text. *No, social media doesn’t count!
Another PSA: if he legit likes you, his texting habits are a major giveaway!
You’re staying in contact fairly regularly and consistently. If he’s willfully avoiding contact with you for three or more days, then that’s a problem he’s curating, and you aren’t meant to play detective or resolve.
While, yes, we aren’t entitled access to people’s time, effort, space and capacity 24/7, if he respects you and your time, he simply won’t play games!
The thing is, dating does require a slice from your life pie. That means it becomes a priority and partly a responsibility. So if you aren’t *ready* to give what is required – time, energy, effort, and attention – to make a relationship work then you shouldn’t be dating. And if he likes you, carving you into his life pie is something he will consciously want to do!
He WILL initiate a next date
This is not some high standard level of expectations here, but partly I feel this is almost asking *too much* nowadays! This, meaning, taking up other’s time. Hence why it’s obvious that if making or setting aside time (for a second, third, fourth date and so on) feels like an obligation or inconvenience…then that person is simply not *worth* your time and effort, period.
And if you especially get that vibe from him, refer to the previous sentence.
I’m sorry to break many hearts and shatter many souls who have sat around waiting for someone to “check their schedule and get back with you” or are only getting vague, empty responses like, “Yeah, sure! I’d love to get together again. [*crickets*]“
Granted, am I aiming at the extreme here, where if you’ve had a first date that he *must* follow up and set another one in stone by sunrise the following business day? No, of course not.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves; when I said dating requires sacrificing a portion of your life pie, I didn’t mean you are to force feed yourself another slice.
Gender specifics about who initiates the date set aside, the fact is if he likes you there won’t be this weird, confusing dance around the bush. Because if he likes you, he’s already anticipating the next time he sees you, even if that’s in his head. And if he actually wants to see you again there won’t be a matter of if or when.
Basically, he will be proactive, not procrastinate – simple as that. Even if that second date is planned a week out, a date will be in the books!
