The key word here is *after* a first date. That means you’ve said your good-byes and parted ways. And if he likes you there are certainly ways he will SHOW you. Fankly, these three are likely ones you’ve already heard before, but maybe my in-depth take will highlight something *new* for you.
I believe, after a first date, there’s this short-term but still prominent and significant span of time where feelings are heightened, your energy is activated and the wheels are *in motion* (think of the “high”). This dissipates over time so, again, it doesn’t last very long but I think this is the opportune time, as you regain a balance between emotion and logic, to authentically reflect on a date. Some take more time to do this and others have their mind made up right away (like, that same night or as soon as they part ways – it’s a hard yes or a hard pass). This isn’t said enough, but PSA: you don’t have to be head over heels to be considered *interested* in someone to *want* a second date.
I’d like to think of it as a grace period but we have clearly demonized this and thus became the infamous 3-day rule, which wasn’t what was intended. You can still show someone you like them (and are interested) while still honoring this grace period.
3 Ways he will SHOW you he likes you after a first date
He WILL follow up
I’m probably going against the grain on this one, but honestlyyyyyyyy….I don’t care! After a first date, the guy who actually had a good time and really likes you is going to [immediately] follow up with you. Whether that be as soon as you step in your door or on his ride home (he couldn’t even wait to get home!), before you turn to bed (with a “goodnight”), the following morning or sometime the next day. Something!
The guy who likes you isn’t going to risk losing an opportunity or just let it float on by in order to keep his cool.
I know many will scoff and say even those who aren’t actually interested will send a follow up “out of courtesy” but I still say follow up is better than no follow up. In fact, the person LEAST interested is less likely to do any sort of following up, though they may reach out or stay in contact thereafter but the communication is treated as if the date was of no significance.
In general, people are not that good at faking interest (we also may be sub-par at reading between the lines) and, besides, Love requires taking risks. There’s a noticeable difference between, “Tonight was fun, thanks. [smiley]” and “I had an amazing time. I’m glad I met you, enjoyed getting to know you, and I am hoping we can do this again soon?”
In one breath, words do matter, and how we word/say things convey what’s in the heart! BUT, yes, actions must follow.
Also, for those saying women can do the following up as well – sure, by all means! The thing is, this is where facing possible rejection comes into play. Following up means taking a fairly big risk – it is (or should be) kind of like “professing” how you feel moving forward. You’ve taken a breath and had a little time to reflect (but not waiting or overthinking it for *too* long) where following up sets in motion that, Hey, I enjoyed the first date and, for me, there’s something worth exploring more.
So you have to base your follow up on how YOU felt about the date (and your feelings about him)…not how *you think* he feels or whether or not he felt the same.
Side note we need to consider: sometimes following up may be that he really likes you and he really enjoyed the date but received a differing vibe from you (which may or may not be true), so he is inquiring where your head is at. And, unfortunately, whether we like it or not…this can be a deal breaking point if one or both parties don’t feel they’re on the same page. The follow up is THE more appropriate AND critical time to voice opposing or differing feelings after a first date.
He WILL call/text
If he likes you, he will banter with you. Do we still use that term anymore? LOL, anyway, yes, banter. The back and forth cutsy phone calls (even if they’re not for hours on end), or by TEXT. Another PSA: if he legit likes you, his texting habits are a major giveaway!
One way or another, you’re staying in contact fairly reguarly and consistently – that whole 3-day MIA rule has gone bye-bye. If he’s willfully avoiding contact with you for three or more days that’s a problem you aren’t meant to resolve. While, yes, we aren’t entitled access to people’s time, effort, space and capacity 24/7, and we need to be more respecting of that!
The thing is, dating does require a slice from your life pie. That means it becomes a priority and partly a responsibility. So if you aren’t *ready* to give what is required – time, energy, effort, and attention – to make a relationship work then you shouldn’t be dating. And if he likes you, carving you into his life pie is something he will consciously want to do!
He WILL initiate a next date
This is not some high standard level of expectations here, but partly I feel this is almost asking *too much* nowadays! This, meaning, taking up other’s time. Hence why it’s obvious that if making or setting aside time (for a second, third, fourth date and so on) feels like an obligation or inconvenience…then that person is simply not *worth* your time and effort, period. And if you especially get that vibe from him, refer to the previous sentence.
I’m sorry to break many hearts and shatter many souls who have sat around waiting for someone to “check their schedule and get back with you” or are only getting vague, empty responses like, “Yeah, sure! I’d love to get together again.[*crickets*]” Granted, am I aiming at the extreme here, where if you have a date he should follow up and set another one in stone by the next business day? No, of course not. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves because everyone is deserving of a grace period; when I said dating requires a portion of your life pie I didn’t mean it literally takes over the entire pie.
Gender specifics about who initiates the date set aside, the fact is if he likes you there won’t be this dance around whether there’s another date and when. Because if he likes you, he’s already anticipating the next time he sees you, even if that’s in his head. So there won’t be a motive to procrastinate – simple as that. Regardless if it’s a week out, a date will be in the books!
