Online dating surely has its perks but not without its woes, which is why it’s important to spot the red flags.
It’s pretty easy to find statistics that confirm tens of millions of people from the U.S. alone are using online dating platforms. That means there are plenty of dating red flags to watch out for, and hopefully ones that are super obvious these days.
When I was dating online, back in 2008-2012, it had just taken off. And there weren’t apps yet – no, no, you had to log in from a browser or your desktop if didn’t have a smart phone. Engaging required much more intentional effort, whereas today it only takes a simple tap and swipe.
Advancement and convenience have surely worked both ways – the likelihood and chances of finding Love and online dating success but also increasing despair, frustration, dating fatigue or even burn out.
That doesn’t even include the level of red flag behaviors on dating apps. While I could write a hefty list, I’m focusing on the ones you really can’t miss, or shouldn’t.
7 Online dating red flags you can’t miss (in 2025)
As a former online dater with online dating success (meaning, I met my now husband from dating online), the insight and opinions I dish are solely based on my personal experience. Everyone’s personal experience will be different, therefore my content is not meant to discourage but to offer a different perspective while remaining hopeful. If you have any personal or specific questions, feel free to reach out to me!
An empty dating profile
There’s nothing like stumbling across someone who catches your eye, to then peep their bio or dating profile and find it blank. It’s even a downer when they use one-word answers or plant their IG handle as a means to gain foot traffic (aka Likes and follows).
It’s about effort. When someone can’t put in that little bit of effort to paint a picture of who they are in their own words, are they even dating online with pure motives and intent? It begs the real question: do they even care all that much?
Doctored up profile pictures
I could go on and on about the catfishing that goes on in online dating profile pictures. Even if it’s subtle! If there’s obvious filters, skewed angles, insane cropping (to avoid showing their full body), poor lighting and the like, there’s more than one reason to question if the person in the photos isn’t what they actually look like. This includes going above and beyond to hide their insecurities.
When we meet someone online, they should match, IMHO, at least 85% of their photos – bearing in mind, for example, frequent changes in hair color and style don’t necessarily apply.
But also, no, they shouldn’t be posting that photo from two years ago where they were 40lbs. different. Photo inconsistencies of what they look like (not what they’re wearing) are going to be your #1 guide to pinpointing physical deception.
Again, ladies, cool it with the filters. As for the dudes, put in a little more effort than the “I just woke up” look, but let’s also not only upload pictures of you dressed to the nines, either. Nobody wants to meet someone in person for the first time and feel blindsided. The deception itself is a red flag that can compromise existing or potential interest.
Abnormal, sketchy requests
For real, though, we can’t put it past people to ask for really weird things on the internet. This includes pictures of your feet. Personally, there are far too many people out there with little to no distinction between what’s appropriate and what’s not. And they likely don’t care, which is even better (*sarcasm*).
Ask yourself what’s considered abnormal or sketchy. This may look different for everyone, but a universal one ought to be nudes – obviously.
Online dating, unfortunately, is no exception when it comes to master manipulators and scam artists. In fact, it’s the perfect place to get their foot in the door, or to obtain your personal information. This means you should be advised against anyone who asks of your place of work, residence (address), or other sensitive information they might use to incriminate you. I’m not kidding.
Listen, it’s easy: if you’re meeting for the first time, meet up separately, and make sure it’s PUBLIC. Don’t fall for the guy who wants to pick you up at your place or asks that you swing by his to meet.
Rule of thumb to always follow: if it seems odd, it probably is.
The solicitor
What does it mean to solicit? Well, it means to ask for, exchange or offer something. Oftentimes solicitation can be… unsolicited. If I need to spell this out, the red flag is if he/she sends you particularly sensitive/offensive information or images that were not welcomed, requested or invited.
Ok, ok, ok…d*ck pics, guys.
But it’s much more than just that. It can be language that is suggestive or comments uncalled for. Or, for those that may need to hear it, the red flag could be someone who spends a surplus amount of effort trying to *sell* themselves, because that’s what a solicitor does.
Don’t confuse this with the natural essence of online dating – someone who goes leaps and bounds to prove themselves worthy is usually scripted (aka, it’s their door-to-door sales tactic).
The sad, sob story
I may not be dating online anymore, but I’ve heard the stories! In my research I’ve gotten enough wind of some weird and, frankly, pathetic ways people have abused the use of dating sites as a means to scam, steal from, hurt and destroy others.
We’ve heard the stories of people getting taken advantage of over green cards – they make literal reality shows about this. People have even taken the approach of weaponizing misfortune or poverty as a means to guilt people into giving them money. In droves, there are stories of individuals claiming they can’t make rent, have unpaid debt, need gas money for their car, need food to feed their kids or have hospital bills, and they sly their way into getting the person they’re talking to online to send them money.
While I am all for helping those in need, through the use of dating sites are not the time and place. Legitimate or not, these are major red flags.
Coming on too strong
What does “coming on too strong” mean or look like to you? Is it based on the behavior itself, or is it an issue of timing or frequency? That is the question and likely varies per individual.
While I thought it was too forward of a guy to ask about meeting up within the first handful of exchanged messages, this might not be considered too forward to another. Fair enough.
But what might be unanimously and obviously a red flag in this case? For one thing, saying I Love You too quickly and Love bombing ought to be on that list.
The infamous player
Who is the infamous player on dating sites? This means someone treats dating, the process, the online platform and involved participants like a game, if you will.
Unfortunately, pinpointing this to the fullest extent might not be so cut and dry since you can’t exactly monitor someone’s behavior or full-face character behind a screen, especially if you haven’t met them in person. But there enough specific subtleties that give off player vibes.
While we typically think of men when it comes to being a player, ladies, you’re really not off the hook, either!
For example, if you’re talking to someone, the conversation is flowing, and they suddenly go dark or fade out for a stretch of time (without warning or reason) to then reappear and start talking to you again…this is very playing-the-field type behavior (because something more interesting, distracting or “better” came along during that time).
I want to be clear when I say that there is nothing wrong with talking to or even dating multiple people online – this alone does not make someone a player. A player is someone who is dishonest, self-centered, secretive and aloof. A player could also be someone who is actually honest and direct but has little to no concern or compassion for the feelings of the parties their involved with.
They can either be totally aware or unconscious of the behavior. A player is someone who doesn’t believe that what they’re doing is wrong (therefore normalizes it) or understands what they’re doing is wrong (but does it, anyway). At the same time, a player who is unconscious of their behavior will typically deny the existence or negative side effects and consequences of their behavior.
So, when I made sure to include women in this section – since we can easily describe what it means for men to be players – it was to emphasize women who seek out attention from men through insecurity, premature attachment, infatuation, exploitation, deception or manipulation. This being just one example describing player behavior that is a red flag.