Online dating in a pandemic [3 lockdown dangers to be MORE aware of]

Surprisingly enough dating has become a legitimate struggle right now as we face this uncertain lockdown. But I’ll bet more and more singles are logging on and signing up for dating sites – even for the hell of it.

Don’t feel like reading? Watch the video!

Many consider it pointless, damaging to their chances of success and are wary of the seemingly greater risk versus reward. And some see this period of “solitary confinement” as the inexcusable opportunity in getting to know someone for the way it was designed to – low and slow.

[Related Read: A Relationship Built To Last Can Survive A Lockdown]

I can see it both ways. But remember, regardless of this lockdown, low-quality individuals will always loom the dating pool. So this is not to discourage those from continuing to find that great love, you just need to make a few adjustments to the process on your end and be more aware of the risks these changes can bring.

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Online dating in a pandemic [3 lockdown dangers to be MORE aware of]

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Premature attachment

Sis, this isn’t the time to be falling head over heels at “Hello“. And I know this happens more often than those willing to admit. Emotions always seem to be 10 steps ahead of logic – because he’s just too-good-to-be-true perfect on the outside, am-I-right?

Online dating in itself was created as a platform to get to know someone without conditioned strings attached. I mean, dating IRL was always that way, too, but technology has really proven how quickly we can disconnect from ourselves and instead rely on others to fill that gap. No wonder the mind, body, and spirit are completely out of sync.

Just because you are looking for Mr. Right, it’s unhealthy for you to have preconceived romantic feelings right out the gate. This leads to premature attachment, which can also lead to unnecessary heartache and the continuum of this pattern/behavior in dating as well as into your relationships.

Dating is a process. Slow. it. down.

Off-balance of growth or connection

Naturally, relationship-growth or connection runs parallel (meaning, if you like him and he likes you, your feelings for one another should both progress), though keeping in mind subtle fluctuations. Some people move much slower or faster than others. It’s important to remain open (verbally and emotionally) to these normal circumstances. As much as this lockdown inhibits the physicality aspect of relationship growth, there are still ways to sustain an emotional connection. It may be slower, a bit time-consuming and require more vulnerability to achieve.

Emotional maturity is K E Y.

But be aware and attuned to that growth. If it’s pretty clear that you’re more interested in him than he is in you, or vice versa, head this warning. An off-balance in growth can be determined by the amount of effort, level of connection and the exchange of energy between you. And most times your gut instinct is right, so honor that and do what is right – not what is easy.

Letting the connection stay strictly online-based

Now I know this is a bit tough to gauge since… well… we’re in a soft enforced lockdown indefinitely, BUT there are other ways to kindle beyond just the “online” connection. And there’s no-freaking-excuse.

From Skype calls and Facetime (in broad daylight, not a blacked-out closest in the basement), hand-written letters (yes, even hand-delivered – in the mailbox), doorstep sentiments and gifts, or hell, have a social distancing “date” in your separate cars.

I’ve seen the show Catfish, all however many seasons there are, and there’s one very delicate piece of truth those fail to understand when it comes to strictly online “relationships” – you may think it’s real, it may even feel real, but if it doesn’t naturally grow from beyond a computer screen or phone, it never intended to.

Avoid making that mistake – fantasizing a situation based on its potential.

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