Relationships are work. I hear this time and time again, and while a part of me agrees, there’s a lot of context in that statement that can leave a bad taste in the mouth. In every sense, relationships ARE work – otherwise, they wouldn’t mean much. The same way I can say, “Your job is WORK. Raising kids is WORK. Maintaining friendships is WORK. Managing your time is WORK.” But none of that will actually feel like work (okay, someeeetimes) when it’s worth it, right? When you’re doing a job you love, your children bring you endless joy, meaningful friendships keep you grounded, and balancing your time (or time to yourself) gives you stability and peace.
When your relationship is deserving and worth it, the effort will be second nature. Yet oftentimes couples will get into a rut that can become so dense, heavy, and lifeless where consequently effort is almost treated as useless or meaningless. The fun, hope, and connection in effort is gone – it becomes tiring. And as I say,
You don’t need to wait for a rough patch to make improvements or put in the effort in your relationship. That’s why I created the Relationship Wellness Journal for couples – a core activity workbook on healing, creating, and maintaining a healthy relationship. And these are 5 reasons couples would greatly benefit.
it motivates and increases quality time
If there doesn’t seem to be enough hours or minutes in a day to spare for alone time together, then you’re going to have to start penciling it in – STAT. The same way you schedule your workout sesh on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or set your alarm 15 minutes early for work just so you can choke down a cup of coffee. Your partner – your relationship – deserves that time, too.
Keeping a Relationship Wellness Journal offers you not only the perfect excuse to skip Binge watching your show at night, but it’s a long-term visual document pertaining to relationship growth. The catch: it only works if you actually commit to it. What you put in is what you get back. And when you put in the effort it can naturally become part of your anticipated routine.
working on something together initiates, builds and reinforces closeness
Even though many aspects of relationships have to do with self-responsibility and personal accountability (don’t forget this) – Love is and will always be a journey on a two-way street. And while you are, in fact, responsible for your side of the road, a healthy relationship is one where both partners hold one another accountable as well as help, motivate and support each other in the journey together. Because if you’re not in it as a team, then what are you?
So if you’re working on something together, you’re bonding. Or you’re coming together to [re]build and strengthen that bond. And a Relationship Journal is a proactive effort to do just that.
it encourages and supports unity and connection
Connection = unity. Unity = oneness. Now, please, don’t twist my words into thinking you and your partner are one and the same. Unity by definition means joined as a whole. That still means two individual things (or beings) come together as One. Connection is important because it facilitates that feeling of unity, and unity is important because it reinforces feelings of connection. You might think of it as, “They have my back and I have their back. I’m confident having their back because I trust they have mine.“
How is connection formed? In many ways, and no, it isn’t always organic. Like for many things in life, connection requires proactive and detailed effort and attention, especially while it is common for couples to experience waves, or ebbs and flows, of connection and disconnection. This is normal. So what does a Relationship Journal do in this case? It acts sort of like a template, or cheat sheet, to reignite that spark or connection (whether it is needed or not).
[mailerlite_form form_id=23]ongoing and effective communication is a learned SKILL
I believe communication is a learned skill. That means it can evolve and adapt, whether you are (or think you are) proficient or not. Open-mindedness is key. You may not communicate on the same wavelength as your partner, and you may not ever. You’ll cross paths, but without an open understanding and acceptance of how and why one another communicates (the Communication workbook add-on goes more into depth on this) you risk creating distance between wavelengths.
A relationship journal, rather, helps couples focus on the more important aspect of communication…and that’s connection first.
and lastly, well, because neither of you is a mind-reader
I mean, unless you are, in fact, psychic, you won’t always know what your partner is thinking, what they want or need nor will you always assume right. Besides, people change their minds on a dime, and I’ll bet [right now] you could easily learn something new about your partner you didn’t know before.
If you only think your partner is your soulmate because you think exactly alike, or the same, you better start questioning whether that’s actually true and for honest reasons. Two people don’t have to be 100% agreeable or do, say, think, and believe the same to be considered compatible, or soulmates. In fact, two people can absolutely disagree as long as the respect for those differences is mutual.
I digress. Your partner is not responsible or expected to fulfill your every need and want – point-blank. You are still responsible for you. Meanwhile, it is your duty to communicate your needs and wants to your partner without the expectation that “they should just know [me by now]”, whether you’ve been together two months, two years, or two decades. Communicating and expressing your needs, ongoing, in a relationship is imperative for a relationship to “operate” smoothly. In this journal you are encouraged to express and treat each other’s needs like you would filling up air your tires. If you stop doing it altogether, eventually you’re going to experience a flat.
Give your relationship the benefit of ongoing Wellness. Grab the Relationship Wellness Journal.
