If you’re recently a newlywed, whether the feeling of being a wife is different or not, there are adjustments to endure. And if you weren’t living together before the big day, this may be more of an adjustment for you.
Granted, being ‘married’ didn’t feel different for me. We both came home to the same house we lived together in for over a year. The ‘married feeling’ honestly didn’t hit me hard until about a couple weeks ago. That was when we finally conjoined bank accounts.
Maybe you’ve experienced feelings in the ‘newlywed wife life’ you weren’t sure are normal or natural, or are having a tough time wondering why you feel this way. And now that I’ve been married over a year now, it’s safe to say things are always going to have their ups and downs – for the good and bad. Here are 9 lessons I learned in my first year of marriage.
It’s time to breathe a little easier as a new wife, because the best part of your life is just beginning. And if any of you experienced or are experiencing what I have, I can relate to you.
Adjusting To The Newlywed Wife Life
Be Patient With Your Immediate Responses/Emotions
You might find yourself being quick with emotions, or abrasive to things that might have not been a trigger before marriage. There might be something you notice that bothers you now than before, and you’re automatic thought is to worry ‘Why all of this now? Why after we get married?’
Don’t pressure yourself. Don’t become conclusive to your emotions or response to everything for ‘Getting Married’. The newlywed wife life is always going to have it’s ups and downs, as you are trying to find your place in this life with a plus one.
It’s important to be a little patient with yourself and your emotions. Your husband might be having the same feelings as you, remember that.
It’s Okay To Have A Little Fear
Before getting married, I was in such a ‘La-La Land’ feeling, that anything and everything I thought about had always the same answer, ‘We’ll figure it all out together.’ Because, you know, being married means life as One.
Well, I think La-La Land came crashing down on me the other day. I suddenly began to worry about every.little.thing that I had no care in the world about before. I am now so reluctant at being a good wife and what being a good wife entails. I’m always factoring in what I really want to do the rest of my life, if my husband judges me, trying to be an equal financial contributor, then adding in sudden expectations I have as a wife and the future mother of our children.
And it’s not that I hadn’t thought about all of those things at one point before – they just never seemed more real until now. Before, it was all easy on the mind because it wasn’t actually happening, Now, it’s real.
So you’re bound to feel some form of overwhelm and fear as a newlywed. Whether you’ve been together for years, or one year. I don’t think it’s unnatural to have a little fear after getting married, or even beforehand, as long as it isn’t about who you’re marrying or married to.
Continue To Make That Time For Yourself, Or Make More Of It
Whatever you do, don’t stop this. I find this a crucial part in married life. Just because you are now bound by ring and paper, doesn’t mean things change for the way you go about honoring yourself.
You continue taking that monthly girls trip, weekly pedicure, or time to finish those book you’ve been dying to read. Don’t make any excuse not to. It’s all in moderation, just as everything else in life.
It’s been the same now as it was before I was married – I thoroughly love my days off of when my husband still has to work. That may sound awful, but I enjoy my time. Just as I know any guy I’m sure loves their ‘alone time’ as well.
Don’t Bottle It Up Inside
There’s a reason you’re married. You should be able to tell your husband anything, as he should make it easy for you to go to him. He should listen and support you. Even if it means never coming to a resolution, or giving you an answer. He is there to hear you out, listen to you and is there to get you through.
Now, I wouldn’t go running to your girlfriends on the matter. Honestly, it’s a 50/50 chance that friend is either going to relate with you (if they’re married), or won’t exactly be of positive help to your emotions and concerns.
Don’t Stop Dating
Now, this shouldn’t by any means ever stop throughout your relationship, and definitely your marriage. There’s no reason for it to. Dating is what has brought you to this place in your lives – being married – in the first place.
First of all, a woman should always be courted and taken out on dates. Just because you’re married doesn’t give any man the pass from having to ‘win’ your heart.
If this has hindered since being a newlywed, bring it up in conversation how its important you feel courted as before you were married.
Adjusting in the newlywed wife life can be a challenge, but it should also be a fun challenge. For some it may not bring any different emotions at all, but I’m sure there are many who can relate to the adjustments I’ve experienced.
What have been some challenges you’ve faced as a newlywed wife?
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